Are You Still Lying Awake? When Anxiety Leads to Insomnia.
Insomnia can be incredibly scary—at least it was for me. Everyone can relate to the occasional sleepless night or the effects of sleep deprivation, and it doesn’t feel good. But insomnia? It’s an entirely different challenge. You might have the opportunity and time to sleep, but no matter how tired you are, it simply doesn’t come. It can be incredibly frustrating!
I’ve been there but I found my way through it. In this blog, I’ll share insights from my journey, what I learned about the role of the nervous system when it comes to insomnia, and tips that can help you, too.
Insomnia is a Symptom, Not the Problem
If you’re struggling with insomnia, the first step is to rule out any medical conditions. As an example, hormonal imbalances, such as those during menopause, may interfere with sleep.
In my case, insomnia was a symptom of a dysregulated, or out of balance, nervous system due to anxiety. One of the trickiest parts of insomnia is the vicious cycle it creates. You’re not sleeping, so you worry about not sleeping, which makes your nervous system even more alarmed. The key is two-fold: calming the nervous system alarm and addressing suppressed emotions that are fueling the alarm.
Sleep aids may provide short-term relief, but they’re often not a long-term solution. In many cases, including my own, they don’t help at all. In my experience, the alarm in the body will override efforts to force sleep—it’s survival.
The Role of the Nervous System in Insomnia
The nervous system is your body’s protection system. It’s designed to respond to perceived threats in order to keep you safe. And it doesn’t know the difference between an actual physical danger, a perceived one, or an emotional one.
“When the mind is overwhelmed by trauma or separation, we initially create an alarm energy of fight or flight. But when this high activation doesn't resolve, part of us gives up and we freeze.”
— Dr. Russell Kennedy, MD, Anxiety Rx
Remaining hyper-alert yet immobilized - this freeze state becomes trapped in the body.
What I learned from my own struggle is that insomnia often indicates fight, flight, or freeze responses have become chronic. A chronic high-alert state, whether driven by panic and/or hypervigilance and/or other anxiety related reaction, can become normalized. A high state of anxiety can go unnoticed until significant symptoms appear such as insomnia.
So, What Can You Do?
1. Feel the Feelings
Stored emotions need to flow. This can be challenging for many of us who learned to suppress our emotions. However, suppressing them doesn’t make them go away. Letting emotions surface can feel as threatening to the nervous system as keeping them bottled. Building capacity for emotions takes time, patience, and courage, and many benefit from support.
For a simple pratice to help you feel the feelings, check out a Heart-Centered Grounding Technique in my blog: How I Discovered the Power of Nurturing the Nervous System in Healing Anxiety Part 2. Also see EFT Tapping below.
2. Get Professional Help
Work with an Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Practitioner or a therapist who incorporates nervous system regulation and somatic techniques. Getting to the root causes and emotions of anxiety and insomnia is crucial. Doing so takes the wind out of the sails of anxiety thus alleviating symptoms like insomnia.
3. Try EFT Tapping
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a powerful, evidence-based therapy central to my work. By combining acupoint tapping—a technique derived from acupuncture without needles—with counseling, using various therapeutic modalities, EFT offers a holistic, somatic, and trauma-informed approach to calming the nervous system alarm while uncovering root causes.
The Tapping part can be used as a self-help tool:
EFT Tapping provides a supportive framework for feeling the feelings. It’s like a lifejacket in rough waters, helping you stay afloat as you navigate intense feelings.
EFT Tapping helps shift focus out of the head and into the body, encouraging mindful breathing.
EFT Tapping sends a signal to the brain’s “smoke alarm,” the amygdala, letting it know it’s safe to turn off even as we are facing and feeling that which is uncomfortable.
This is very important for the freeze state which, as mentioned, takes time to ease and soften. With consistent practice, the nervous system learns to relax and reset. EFT was a powerful resource during my own healing journey and remains an essential ingredient to my daily practice and self-care. It is easy to learn but it does take some time and practice. You can get started by checking out my Blog on EFT Tapping here: Unlock the Power of EFT Tapping.
4. Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body
When we are struggling with anxiety and insomnia it means we are very much up in our heads
Here are some additional exercises and practices I’ve found helpful:
· Bring Attention to Your Feet: Focusing on your feet grounds you in the present moment and helps shift attention from racing thoughts. Breathe as if you are breathing in and out of your feet. Be in your feet whenever you think of it.
· The Body Scan: Be aware of tightness and tension in your body. Scan from the top of your head down to your toes. Soften any tightness. Practice this whenever you think of it—it only takes a few seconds and can easily become a new and very beneficial habit. You can also listen to my guided Calming Meditation which incorporates the body scan —available for free when you subscribe to my newsletter Nurturing the Nervous System, Nurturing Yourself - Your Path To Reclaiming Your Power, Purpose, and Worth.
· Breathing Exercises: Deep, conscious breaths signal safety to your nervous system. See my Blog Breathe Your Way To Balance for some specific breathing exercises.
5. Take Time To UnWind
For those with moderate to severe anxiety, it is often very difficult to relax. The state of freeze unfortunately doesn’t act like an on/off switch. This can be frustrating. It can also feel unnatural and even unsafe to let go if we have been in a chronic state of hyper-vigilance, busyness, and/or distraction. But we don’t have to do it all at once. It’s a process.
Practice the Get Into The Body exercises above throughout your day
Take purposeful pauses and breaks throughout the day especially to take a few mindful breaths
Establish a morning and bedtime routine to Feel The Feelings while using the Heart-Centered Technique or EFT Tapping (links above) or whatever is supportive for you, reaching out for support if you need it - beginning with just 1 or 2 minutes is a big step.
Exercise - exercise can make it easier to do some sitting with feelings by helping to release some of the pent up energy. Taking a brisk walk, running, boxing, yoga. Whatever you do be sure to bring attention to your body as you exercise.
What About Sleep Hygiene?
Sleep hygiene involves creating an environment and routine that promote restful sleep. While it’s not the whole answer, it’s still worth incorporating. Here are some things you may want to try:
Ensuring the room is dark and at a comfortable temperature
Avoiding use of electronics, scrolling and emailing 1 to 2 hours prior to bedtime. If you do watch t.v in the evening choose something light and funny that relaxes you versus something that is engaging and stimulating.
Removing electronics from the bedroom. In my experience using electronics to aid sleep, like listening to calming music or a bedtime meditation or story, can promote relaxation and sleep. Do what works for you.
Reading before bed can be helpful - again something relaxing rather than stimulating
If you waken during the night repeat what helps you fall asleep ie. reading, listening to calming music.
Using blue-light glasses while using devices in the evenings
Maintaining consistent sleep and wake times.
Establishing a calming bedtime ritual - make it special and something you can look forward to.
The Brain Dump: This is helpful when you have worries on your mind at bedtime. As part of your bedtime ritual, write down everything on your mind—worries, to-dos, and fears. Once it’s on paper, remind yourself: This can wait until morning. Now it’s time to rest.
Journaling: This can be in addition to the brain dump exercise. It can also be quite effective for expressing suppressed thoughts and emotions and getting the energy out. Write whatever you feel, your frustrations, etc. Some feel uncomfortable keeping a journal. If that is the case, you can try writing it all out and then rip it up or shred it, or use Word on your computer - type it all out and then hit Delete.
For myself, applying some of these tips gave me a sense of control in a situation where I felt powerless. Ultimately, I discovered that the most important thing to cure insomnia was addressing the freeze state—calming my nervous system and learning to build capacity to feel safe while allowing and feeling deeper emotions. Even now, I occasionally find myself in freeze and unable to sleep. What helps most is calming the nervous system alarm with breathing and EFT Tapping as I feel the pent-up energy and emotions and let it release. Remember, emotions are energy in motion. They are meant to flow. When we keep emotional energy bottled up, it creates resistance in the body which can interrupt a good night’s sleep.
Additional Tools That Helped Me
1. The Tapping Solution: When I was learning how to tap, I found resources from The Tapping Solution helpful particularly for insomnia. They offer tools specifically for sleep that I highly recommend.
2. Meditations for Insomnia by Jason Stephenson: Designed for bedtime or when you awake during the night, these meditations and bedtime stories help calm the mind. He offers free resources on YouTube.
Final Thoughts
While there are other elements and resources not discussed here, I hope this is helpful and will give you a good start.
Insomnia can feel overwhelming, but with the right tools and support, you can calm your nervous system, break the cycle, and rediscover the peace of restful sleep.
I’ll leave you with this:
Sleep is your birthright. The body knows how to sleep. Once you calm the nervous system alarm, sleep will come.
Written by Michele Venema, BScN, RN, Psychotherapist, cEFT2 AEFTP
Nurse Psychotherapist/EFT Practitioner
From Shadows to SoulLight Counselling