OCD? Free!

OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is often closely linked to anxiety.

As I’ve previously shared, I had been one that was managing high-functioning anxiety for years. By the time I reached my early 50s, I was barely keeping my head above water. When life threw a storm my way, I went under.

I found myself grappling with severe anxiety, depression, and insomnia. And then, OCD joined the mix. It was a relentless ride.

Before the OCD, the severe anxiety had me living in fear. I was constantly overwhelmed, afraid of my own shadow. Everything felt like a threat. Standard medical/health procedures/tests had me petrified. Even simple tasks, like cleaning up after dinner, left me standing in the middle of the kitchen, racked with indecision.

But as I started to make progress with my anxiety, something unexpected happened. I had begun to uncover the root of my fears — that lingering sense of not feeling safe, even when I was physically secure. Then OCD stepped in, like another layer of protection. It was as if a part of me protested, saying, “How dare you feel safe enough to relax! It’s not safe!”

I knew intellectually that my thoughts were irrational. But with OCD, there’s a compulsion that demands attention. And with that compulsion came shame. I came to understand that it wasn’t really about the behaviors themselves. It was about the fear beneath them. The anxiety. And beneath that anxiety? Deeper emotions of guilt and shame, some rooted in my past and others passed down through intergenerational trauma.

Living with OCD

OCD can present itself in many ways. For me at its worst, my OCD fixated on cleanliness. I washed my hands incessantly. I avoided touching things like light switches, door knobs, faucets, directly with my hands - even in my own home. Picking up my socks from the floor and putting them on required another round of handwashing. I couldn’t eat anything without washing my hands first. Even unplugging the sink or cleaning the toilet became monumental tasks. And if I dared to complete them, I’d wash my hands repeatedly and have to change my clothes. I felt consumed by fear.

There were moments of absurdity that I can now laugh at. I remember hanging my husband’s shirts on dresser knobs as a strategy to help me touch them again. And it worked. Gradually, I exposed myself to these triggers, with the support of an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Practitioner. She guided me to address the underlying emotions and then encouraged me to face those small challenges. Touch the door knob. Bring her three pieces of clothing from my closet. Retrieve the mail from the community mailbox. Each step was uncomfortable but empowering. But those steps couldn’t have happened without addressing the emotions.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), often called Tapping, integrates principles of traditional therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Exposure Therapy in a non-traditional way. Unlike conventional approaches that often focus on changing behaviours first—sometimes pushing exposure before addressing the underlying emotional roots—EFT works from the inside out. It prioritizes the body’s response, underlying emotions, and, importantly, the nervous system alarm. In cases of anxiety, OCD, or phobias, exposure in EFT is less about forcing behaviours and more about naturally testing the inner shifts that have taken place.

Healing from OCD

Healing from OCD wasn’t about forcing myself to stop the behaviors. It was about understanding what those compulsions were trying to protect me from. The real work was uncovering the deeper emotions driving the anxiety — facing and feeling them instead of pushing them away.

As I committed to this inner work, the compulsions gradually lost their hold on me. The anxiety, once overwhelming, faded. And so did the OCD.

Today, I’m free. I even have a dog again — a joyful addition to my life. (Thankfully, our home was dog-free during my OCD phase). I can touch light switches, put on my socks, and even wipe food onto my clothes without a second thought because what else are you supposed to do with your fingers after licking the chocolate off of them? Life feels lighter now.

Healing from OCD wasn’t about fighting against it — it was about understanding it. I learned that the compulsions weren’t the enemy; they were a reflection of my deeper fears and unresolved emotions. My nervous system was in protection mode. By facing those emotions with compassion and curiosity, I gradually freed myself from their hold.

Recovery didn’t happen overnight. It was a gradual fading away as I remained committed to the inner work — layer by layer. And perhaps most importantly, I learned that healing isn’t about eliminating discomfort but about building the resilience to move through it.

OCD Free

Today, I’m free from the weight of OCD. I can laugh at the memories, knowing they’re part of my story but no longer my reality. And I’m grateful every day for the freedom that came from choosing self-compassion over self-criticism.

If you’re navigating anxiety or OCD, know that healing is possible. There is a path forward, and it begins with understanding the deeper emotions beneath the surface. You don’t have to go it alone. I became an EFT Practitioner because I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this approach can be in supporting real, lasting change. If you’re curious about how EFT can help you, I invite you to reach out —I’d love to support you on your journey toward healing and freedom.

Written by Michele Venema BScN, RN, Psychotherapist, cEFT2 AEFTP
Nurse Psychotherapist/EFT Practitioner

From Shadows to SoulLight Counselling